Tag Archives: strengthen

When life still sucks and you want to run away

It’s been an interesting few weeks since my last post on my colors colliding. Let’s see. For starters, our bank account was hacked into. (Did you know that people can actually have fake checks printed up with a fake name, a fake address, a fake signature, and yet a very real account number on it – namely yours?) Yes. They can. I won’t tell you the very real things I want to do to this person. You might not follow my blog anymore.

Not only that, but after closing out this now-hacked-into beloved checking account that I’ve had for over thirty years, opening a new account offered us only more heartache. First, our bills automatically continued to be paid out of the old account which made checks bounce all over the place like grasshoppers on steroids. Then, because of that, the bank froze our automatic bill-pay so we can’t pay anything online out of our old or new account. Which is how we pay everything. Which was supposed to unfreeze after five to seven days. Which hasn’t.

I don’t think I can spend one more hour on the phone with the bank being put on hold, hung up on, transferred to the wrong department, told there’s nothing they can do…you know the drill. At this point, I might just lose what little is left of my mind. So, I will wait another few days to see if this magically gets fixed on its own.

Let’s move on, shall we? Then there’s the guy, a week or so ago, (totally unrelated to the whole bank fiasco), who is trying to rent out commercial property under our business name, pretending to be us – fake tax documents included. Only God could have orchestrated it so that he would try to rent it from a broker who happened to know my husband. (A little silver in the lining.)

And then there was the complete mix-up of my husband’s name on his airline ticket to Uganda just a couple of weeks before he had to go. Then there was the phone call that said we didn’t send a return envelope for his Visa to be returned – which we did. And then there was the losing of his passport the day before he left. That was fun. You’ve never seen a house so thoroughly torn apart.  (Yes, we eventually found it in the scanner where it was hiding after the airline misprint debacle.) And then there was my computer freaking out and me watching my emails being deleted right before my eyes at hyper-speed for no apparent reason; no virus, no malware. Just gone; all of my new emails plus four month’s worth of important ones I was saving.

But, hey; here’s some good news: the baby’s tummy started doing better just in time for him to start teething! Yay!

Ever feel like you just can’t take anymore? Like your colors colliding was a picnic in the park compared to what came after? That’s about where I’m at.

My attitude sucks, I cry at the drop of a hat (or a phone call from a friend), I fight being mad at life, I can hardly think straight, I want to eat everything (and have), and I want to run away. How’s that for a confession from a screwed-up saint?

And yet, strangely, I’m okay. It’s almost as if too much got to be so much, that I’ve actually become immune to anything and everything else that can go wrong; like a toughening up of sorts. It reminds me of the Amplified Classic version of Isaiah 41:10:

Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.

This is the part I love about that version: I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties. It reminds me that all of the crappy, sucky things that life throws our way will only serve to make us stronger, tougher, and more resilient in the end. (Another piece of silver in the lining.) Because it’s one thing to know that God works all things together for good; it’s another to know how. Right now I need to know how.

And knowing that God is making me one fiercely strong person out of all of this is fuel enough to help keep me going for one more day (or, at least, one more phone call with the bank).

I’ll look at it like exercising. The more my muscles are worked, the stronger they’ll get. And I like strong muscles.

How about you? Going through a rough season that seems to be lasting FOREVER? I hope if you are, Isaiah 41:10 gives you hope as well. And we can become tough, unshakable Christ-followers together. I think in this day and age we’re needed.