A couple of weeks ago I was talking with a friend. We were chatting about how I realized that I’ve been trying to re-parent my adult kids over the past couple of years. (As if I could undo or redo everything I did wrong.) I mean, after all, I have done some growing up, have a billion hours of counseling under my belt, schooling, studying, and book reading on top of it all.
My motives were right. I wanted to save them from pain…wanted to save them from making the same mistakes I’ve made…wanted them to learn quicker than I did so that my grandkids have it better than they did… You know. Stuff like that.
This got me thinking about the many other things I’ve tried to maintain, manage, change, and manipulate over the years, out of fear and guilt…like trying to do noble, charity-driven things other people have been called to do but I have no business doing…trying to emulate this godly woman or that super-spiritual man instead of just being me…worrying more about how others perceive me rather than how I’m really doing on the inside…
In addition, it got me thinking about how much time and energy all of this has taken away from me living my life.
Have I been focusing on others’ lives so that I don’t have to face my own?
Nevertheless, after the last two years of intense soul-searching, purging, re-grouping, hormone balancing, and flat-out waking up, I told my friend that I decided it’s time for me to resign from my self-given role as General Manager of the universe. Trying to manage (code word for “control”) everything is pretty exhausting. I think I’ll let God fully take the reins now.
To commemorate the occasion and make it official, I wrote a resignation letter. I’ve included a copy of it here; perhaps I’m not the only one who needs to resign.
Here’s to taking our lives back…bravely, joyfully, and completely.